The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize