Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We need a shit load of segways right now
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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