tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
