also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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