i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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