I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
