Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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