I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
