You're completely useless in the revolution.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
