Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
