I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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