Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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