i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
