He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
