As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
