Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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