out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
