I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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