RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm always down for nudity.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
