We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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