I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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