why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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