Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
