Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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