I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
