She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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