its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my vag is so smooth its legendary
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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