How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Floor bacon is actually really good
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
