let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize