I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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