I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
