No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
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I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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