So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
