yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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