i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
