maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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