some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
