Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
