She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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