Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
