Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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