He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You made out with two different species that night
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
