dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
