I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
