babies were throwing up all over the place
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
