does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
