Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
