do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
