Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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