I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drunk is not a location!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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