What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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