my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
