There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
