I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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