Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
