My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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