I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
