it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
